Oakland
I've had writers block, I want to write all of the time but I've been afraid. It's been hard to be bold, hard to tell it like it is, because the truth is ugly and politically incorrect. The truth simply offends and thats not my nature to offend. The truth pierces and cuts and severs lies. You are despised and rejected, persecuted and alone if you really preach it. But there is something inside of me that says tell them anyway. Jesus tells me, Who cares what the world thinks, you only have to please and worship me! Live like a crazy obsessed radical. Turn tables by loving the pimp and crack dealer. Embrace the gangmember and sit with the addict on the corner. Feed the man who lives in a van on your street and while you are at it stop and chat with a prostitute as she stands on the corner waiting for her next customer. Its hard to love because fear gets in the way, I'm afraid of getting raped, or shot, or abused, I am afraid to walk home after dark. I'm afraid of the gunshots I hear in my neighborhood at night. But then this crazy peace sweeps over me and He tells me don't fear, my love casts out fear! Don't fear them, they may destroy your body, take your life, crucify you, but they cannot have your soul. I purchased you and won you. We already have the victory! Its been paid in blood! He tells me, I want to take you on the wildest adventure of your life. I want you to follow with blind faith, you won't be able to explain or justify the way you use your time, this won't look like a normal nine to five. I want to take you deeper into my heart. To go deeper it means plunging into the middle of darkness so that I can prove to you that my light always vanquishes the darkness! I want to plan everyday, to let my agenda reign, but he is telling me to lay it all down, to surrender my plans, my programs, my ideas, because mine simply are not big enough. He keeps challenging me, he is helping me unlearn everything from the past so that I can be simple, humble, broken and dependent on Him for everything. He has been giving me crazy desires to pray throughout the day, to go to learn from charismatic catholics, to submerge myself in Spanish, to try to recruit a prayer team of 700 people, to read testimonys of the saints, to be vulnerable, to simply be in his presence without doing anything. I don't know what he is up to but it feels big. He is introducing us to refugess from Africa, black authors from the hood, drugdealers from Honduras, a single black father, asian lawyers, tongan churches, fransican priests, episcopal latinos, rich people from the hills, and latino gangmembers. How it all comes together? Only he knows! I am asking for passion, for his love and mercy and for His vision as I seek to serve him and carry out His will.
God is bigger than my doubt!
No matter how grim things look, no matter how much pain I feel, no matter how confused or tired I may be, trust! He will take my naked faith, no matter how small and create a miracle bigger than I have dreamed or imagined!
Naked faith demands that we somehow learn to marry the mind with the Spirit. That we put away our pride, doubt and fear and stand before God with nothing but a raw unquenchable trust. That we close our eyes and ears to the voices that tell us what God can and cannot do, what God does and doesn't believe, how God does and doesn't work and allow God to show us for himself! -Nicky Cruz
According to Nicky, the most powerful and effective prayer we can pray is...
Jesus I release my life to the working of your Holy Spirit. I have no plans of my own, no agenda, no goals of my own choosing, no desire that isn't placed in my spirit by yours. I turn loose from my life and schedule. I renounce Satans hold on my life and the sins that enslave me. Take me Lord! Show me where you want me to go, what you want me to do, who you want me to see and what you want me to say! I am no longer going to limit your work in my life. Take me, mold me, lead me, make me into a vessel of your spirit. God use me to bless others, use me to help others find comfort, healing, deliverance, home, community & intimacy with you. Turn my life into a living breathing miracle of your will!