Mateo's Mediations!

12/15/11

I invited H and A to go ice-skating with us, one a Honduran youth I used to live with and his girlfriend. Later, I invited another group of Honduran’s to go too without thinking about the rift in their relationship. When the day came for us to go, I called H and told him who else might be going. No way, he told me. ‘I’m not going if they go.’ I could feel myself getting frustrated inside because of the mistake I had made and finding it hard to comprehend the broken relationships that so many of the youth have with each other. Only days before he had been so excited to hang out with Martha and I, and then I fouled it up. So I told him that we would connect again on another day. We ended up picking up F and then meeting Joe in the city. We met up with Nettie and her Thursday night Bible study at the ice skating rink. The night ended up being a blast. Joe and F had never been on ice before and we laughed all evening as we took them around the rink hand in hand. By the end of the evening, Joe had gotten confident enough to go on his own. Throughout the evening, Joe told me more about his background. Growing up with only his mom and not ever meeting his dad. He came to the states because of how poor his family is and wanted to send money back to them.

12/24/11

It is Christmas Eve and Martha, Celida, and I head out on foot toward International Blvd., the busiest street in Oakland, to sing carols and hand out cookies to people. We stop and sing first to a group of guys playing dice on the street. They look confused and then break into dance, their mouths full of cookies, as we sing Feliz Navidad and then give them a blessing for Christmas. We stop in the Catholic Worker House to sing to them and after two songs they ask us to return for the posada they are doing down the block. A posada is a Central American tradition where they re-inact the night of Jesus’ birth and how there was no place for the baby to be born. As they walk down the street, we accompany them on our guitars, strumming songs we have just learned in the moment. The music is not that beautiful, but to see the group of people walking down the street singing and inviting Jesus to be born in their own hearts and lives is awesome. After knocking on three doors, and getting a no room in the inn response in each, we finally enter a building where people have been waiting for us. We stay for a while and listen as a nun gives a gospel message that mesmerizes me. In a simple way, she preaches the good news of Jesus in a way that touches a deep place in my heart. We leave before the posada is finished so that we can stop by the houses of some youth we know. We first stop by the house of Joe & F. They open the door and a third person appears, Jef, a youth who used to live with us in Casa San Dimas as well. It has been years since I have seen him too. He gives me a hug and we exchange numbers after giving each one of them a small gift and then singing some Christmas carols while Joe dances around the room. Later we stop by H’s house and it seems that no one is home until he jumps out of the front door with another guy in an attempt to scare us. His brother G is in the car and we tell H that. He is excited to wish his brother a Merry Christmas and walks to our car where he and his brother take some time to talk for the first time in months, which is a small act of reconciliation. It gives me joy to see it and I pray that more would take place between the people we know in Oakland and that they too would be reconciled to God.

Later that evening, after dropping Celida off at home, Martha and I stopped by a Guatemalan Christmas party. We had been invited by R after we saw him in the Walgreen’s in the morning. As we stood in the store, a young man came in that I recognized from soccer on Mondays. I decided to go by and say hello to him. “Hey, how are you? You play soccer on Monday’s right?” “Yeah, I do. Are you Mateo?” “Yeah I am. And what is your name?” “It is R.” “Good to meet you. What are you doing for Christmas?” “Oh we are going to have a little party in my apartment and we are going to eat some tamales and drink some beer. And you? What are you doing?” “We are going to visit some youth we know and sing them some Christmas carols and also bring them some cookies.” “Well if you want to come by our party you are more than welcome to.” “Wow, thank you very much,” I answered a bit taken back. I really had not expected an invitation to a party. I was only going to wish him a Merry Christmas. “Why don’t you give me your address and we will try to come by after we visit the other people we are seeing today.” After getting R’s address and phone number we left for home. I began to reflect on what our team member Jose had recommended for us as a team. ‘Find out what people in Oakland do for Christmas.’ Here it was, Christmas Eve, and I felt that God had invited us to see and experience just that. We ended up going by R’s house for an hour or so and gave them some homemade cookies. They fed us Guatemalan tamales and hot pineapple juice while we spoke with people about Guatemala and what life is like there and the challenges being in Oakland.

1/4/12

Jim Bloom is with us for a few days here in the Bay Area. He is our new Regional Director and is coming to spend a couple days with us. As we spoke this evening some of his words and insight really struck me. He reminded me of the importance of listening. He has been reading a book about a Native American who said that all cultures have been given a special kind of knowledge that we are to then share with others. This makes me want to ask the people we are meeting what gift or knowledge their culture or people has or was given. I have been feeling that Martha and I should be taking prayer walks during the day and as we do we should be calling the people we know or knocking on the doors of the people we are meeting so we can say hello and let them know they are important to us. I feel it is the time to begin putting roots down in Oakland and to become committed to some different places this year. People want to know that they are heard. Jim was reminded me too that we often don’t listen because we want to follow our own agenda and get our point across or whatever it may be. Listening is important. As we are out prayer walking the neighborhood we need to be praying for the people of peace that can open up the door to more relationships for us. We need to find ways to let them know who we are and what we are about and see if they bite or not, which is kind of like fishing for men. Also, to keep finding out the history of the city by asking people who have lived here and by reading about the history that is written down.

I just spoke with G on the phone and he moved back over the Oakland to live with some friends in the Fruitvale. This comes after he didn’t meet the requirements to move back into Casa San Dimas and admitted that he is struggling with alcohol and drugs. Last week, he came over having taken 3 ecstasy pills. He realized that it was too much and is promising not to do it again. The only problem is that he is now living in the place that has been given him so much temptation. That is where he has been going to drink and use drugs. Lord, please have mercy on this young man.

1/11/12

On Monday I went with Martha to the soccer fields to play. I have been going out there every Monday since returning from our honeymoon. Last year, a youth named H invited me to join his soccer team there. He has since stopped showing up but all the other players continue to invite me to return. The little league I am in is made up of Hondurans, Guatemalans, Mexicans, and El Salvadorians and myself. Each week I am make it a goal to learn the names of one or two more people. Martha and I have begun praying for these men and that God would bring into our midst a person of peace. I feel He has opened a door for us here and the more time we spend at the field with them, the more I see confirmation that we are in the right place. At the moment, it is not huge things that are happening, but little things that I could easily miss if I wasn’t paying attention. We are beginning to be invited into the lives and homes of the guys I am playing soccer with and are finding out that so many of them live within a couple blocks of us. I continue to feel more and more confirmation too on where we live as I see God opening up more of our neighborhood to us. As Martha and I walked onto the field we saw a youth we hadn’t see since October. Jordy had stayed with us for two nights in October while he was looking for a room to rent. We had lost track of him since then until Martha saw him a couple days before soccer. We found out that he is living on 8 blocks from us and is unfortunately still dealing drugs to make a living. We dropped him off at home after the game and invited him to come over in the next week to have dinner with us. Another youth I ran into for the second week in a row is JJ, who used to live with me in Casa San Dimas about four years ago.  It has been a long time since we have seen each other and he is dealing drugs to make a living, which makes me sad. So many of the youth we know, now see dealing as a legitimate job and refer to is their work, but it is not. Whereas before so many youth were ashamed to be selling drugs, most now don’t seem to think twice about it. This is hard for me as I see them selling death into our community and basically making blood money. After the game, I invite him to come over on another Monday to have tacos after the game and his face lights up. So many of these youth we know from Honduras and from other Central American countries too don’t seem to have anyone that is really caring for them or looking out for their best interest. What gave me a lot of joy that day was seeing one of the teams allow Martha to play on their team. She came with her shoes and shin guards and after seeing our friend R, he invited her to join them for the day.

Before going to bed last night, I called G to check up on him. Since moving into the Fruitvale in Oakland with some of his friends, I have been worried that he will fall deeper into alcoholism and drug addiction. He tells me he is watching a movie. I ask him if he is drinking tonight and he says no, he doesn’t have the money. This coming Thursday is his birthday and I invited him to come our house to celebrate with us. He tells me that he will see what his schedule looks like.

1/14/12

Martha and I went to Joe and F’s apartment to see them after hearing that F had been in the hospital and Joe was sick. We spent the morning making them soup and brought it to them in the evening with some homemade biscuits. We spent about an hour or so just catching up with them and before leaving Fanny let us lay hands on her and pray for her health. I had been feeling really strongly in my heart, that we were supposed to go over and pray for her.

1/16/12

Today is Martin Luther King Day. We spent the morning at an event called Stop the Violence where ministries, activists, artists, and other people from the city came together in solidarity to raise their voice against the violence that has been happening in Oakland. It was inspiring for me to see some many different people using the gifts God has given them to give back to this community. One thing Martha and I have begun to notice and hear though is that many people in the city are not connected with each other. What would it look like for us to get people together in the city, even just a few at a time? It would cool to open our house to some of those leaders and get to know them and offer them the chance to get to know others. We ended up talking with an activist named George who gave us a recommendation on how to get into the Juvenile Hall. Then we spoke with a guy named Mustaffa who was in jail for murder and now after Jesus changed his life, he is running a ministry where he helps youth make music. We thought of H and his girlfriend and trying to hook them up with that ministry.

Later, Martha and I went out to the soccer fields again today to connect and play with my soccer team. We arrived early and messed around for an hour with Joe, F, and Cris. A young man came from a church we had visited last week, La Iglesia Presbiteriana Hispana. We had gone to visit their youth group and had met him there. We had invited him to come play on Monday and he took us seriously. We ended up winning 10-1. After the game, I invited most of the guys over to our house for dinner, but only Cris, Joe, and F accepted the invitation. One Honduran, named Andy, always seems to be wearing a hard look on him, but after giving him an invite to our home, he seemed to soften a bit. “No, I can’t tonight Mateo. We are about six guys and if we go, then the other guys in the house will be upset that we didn’t invite them.” “No problem,” I told him. “Maybe next week.” “That’s cool. Just let me know.” “How can I get a hold of you?” “I will give you my number.” As he gave me his number, I was observing the tattoos on his arms and the braids in his hair and thinking that no matter who the person is they are not too far out of reach of God. God can redeem anyone regardless of what they look like and where they come from. We ended up giving Cris a ride home, which gave him the space to ask me for a favor. “Mateo, I need to ask you for a favor.” “Yeah, what’s up?” “I need your help getting into school. I want to learn English.” “Cool. When do you want to go?” “Tomorrow I’m busy, so how about Wednesday?” “Give me a call on Wednesday and we will go.” We dropped Cris off at his house and drove home to change before they came over. After they came over, we spent the evening eating pizza, drinking tea and just laughing together as we told stories. Both Joe and Cris continued to ask questions about English and seem to have a true hunger to learn. It seems as though God is opening up the doors for us to listen to what some of these youth want and to help meet this need as we get to know them. We pray that this will only open up further conversations about Jesus and his love for them. What has been exciting to me is that Joe, F, and Cris are already going to a church and seem very open to learning more about God and knowing him more.

1/18/12

Martha and I get a call from Joe in the afternoon asking if we are free. His car has just been towed and he needs a ride to get it. We pick he and F up and then head out for the car. On the way, we stop at a tattoo shop to get a paper from a guy there who sold them the car. We get to the towing shop and Joe presents his papers only to find out that they are incorrect. He doesn’t have registration and the papers he has are from a person that is not on the original registration. The car looks stolen is what the towing guy tells us. Joe tells the man that he will go back to try to get the original papers and if he would not charge them anymore if they are late. That was enough to send the man over the edge and give Joe and us a 10 minute lecture on why Joe had been making a mess of this. If he only had a paper that said his registration was in progress he would have given the car back in the parking lot. I stayed silent and tried to calm Joe down. Joe took the cue and shut-up. After a couple minutes the towing guy asked Martha and I how we knew Joe and F. ‘I play on the same soccer team with Joe,’ I answered. The man looked perplexed. He went to check something in his office and came back to tell us that his printer and fax machine were down. His demeanor had changed and he then told us that he was going to give the car back to Joe and F, but that they needed to take it in to complete their paperwork. I tell Joe and F that it is a miracle and they need to thank God for getting their car back.

1/19/12

Martha and I pick up Cris to take him to look for schools. We stop in the Fruitvale District at the Arise School.

1/20/12

I get up early to pick up Cris again so that we can talk to the people in the administration office for the Oakland school district.

1/22/12

Our friend Daniel, Martha and I are getting ready for church when my phone rings. It is G. He is just calling to say hello at 9:30am, which is out of the ordinary for him. Normally he calls in the evening. We talk for minute before I invite him to church with us. We accepts the invitation, which surprises me because he has wanted to do with God or church for the past year or so. 20 minutes later we pick him up and I see that he has brought a notebook so he can write down what he hears God speaking to him at the service. It gives me joy and hope to see him with us because he has been battling depression and alcoholism. After the service, he tells us that he wanted to stand up when the pastor asked if anyone wanted to give their lives to Jesus, but he felt embarrassed. Nonetheless, he tells us that he loved the service and really felt the presence of God there. He wants to know if we are going to come back on another Sunday. Of course we tell him. ‘Good. I’m coming with you then.’ This is an answer to prayer for us. We have been praying that he would find a church home.

1/23/12

I feel unmotivated today to go play soccer and hope that the rain will cancel it. It doesn’t and Aron calls me to see if I will be there to play. I tell him I will. We play 90 minutes and end up winning 4-3 on a wet and muddy field. As we end the game, I make an effort to shake every players hand from the other team. Then, I wait around with the Honduran youth that are there and strike up conversation with Andy, a youth I met three years ago in Juvenile Hall. He now has long braided hair that goes halfway down his back and tattoos cover his arms and chest. I ask him about his family and if he has any here. ‘No,’ he tells me. ‘I just have an uncle in Los Angeles.’ Another youth here completely on there own. He goes on  to tell me that he has three kids. ‘How old are you?’ I ask him. ’20 years old.’ ’20 years old!? And you have 3 kids? I am 32 and I don’t even have one!’ ‘Yeah, I have three and I am trying to work and provide for them.’ We make some more small talk before I leave for home, but before I do I invite him to come over to our house for dinner in two weeks and he says that he would like that.

Later in the evening, G calls me and I hear him in good spirits. This is a good sign. For the past couple weeks, he has been down and last week was the low point for him. One evening he called me and said so many things about other people that he called me the next day to apologize for the way he spoke to me. I forgive him and suggest that he talk to the people he is frustrated with. As we talk that evening he surprises me again, by telling me called the two people that he felt angry toward and asked them for forgiveness. I am stunned and taken aback by this bold act of reconciliation. ‘And how did each of them respond?’ I ask him. ‘Very well,’ he tells me. ‘Both of them told me their side of the story and I realize I was judging them without totally understand what was happening. I was letting my feelings grow inside me without expressing them.’ There is a pause and then he continues. ‘Mateo, I really need to change my life. I need to get out of this apartment. Before I used to always go visit Jose and Celida and now after work I just come home. You know why?’ ‘Why?’ I ask. ‘Because it has everything. (Everything meaning drugs and alcohol.) The guys I live with aren’t bad, but they are a bad influence for me. I can’t change if I stay in this house.’ I am silently rejoicing because we have been praying that he would see that he needs to get out of that apartment and live somewhere else. ‘Mateo I want to keep going to the church too. Tell me if you are going to go again because I want to go with you.’

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