Happy New Year 2012!

Happy New Year 2012! This past year seems like a wonderful blur of love, anticipation, family, friends & zaniness! Here are some of our highlights!

 

v      Moving to Oakland & pioneering a new team!

v      Gettting engaged and planning 2 weddings in 6 months!

v      Getting married twice!

v      Honeymoon!

 

Oakland has been a pleasant surprise, despite what you may hear on the news, we have found our neighbors to be very loving and hospitable. We are listening to God and the people that He is bringing into our lives and learning how to love and minister in a new context! We feel that the Spirit of Jesus is very alive here in Oakland, He is leading the way, opening up opportunities and helping us to see what is going on in the spiritual realm. We are networking and building bridges between cultures! God is growing in us a love for prayer and worship and we are learning what it means to give thanks in all circumstances! We are seeking to be a unified team with a strong foundation on Christ!

               

Getting engaged was so much fun! We feel so blessed to have such an incredible community! Thank you for praying for us, listening to us, and celebrating with us through all the stages of our relationship! As we were planning our wedding we had 3 main desires…

1. To have Jesus at the Center of it all!

2. To have our communities involved!

3. To keep it simple and be able to invite everyone to celebrate with us!

God answered our prayers by using each one of you! Looking back we feel so blessed, it would have been impossible to pull it off in 3 mo. without everyones hard work, creativity and generosity! Due to the amount of love, community involvement and gifts we are still writing thankyous =)

 

Our MI wedding was so beautiful! Seeing 2 families and groups of friends come together really touched our hearts! I have so many stories from the wedding but my favorite is what my little sister saw. She told me afterword, “HE WAS THERE!” “Who was there?” I asked, wondering what special guest she might be thinking of… “JESUS!” she exclaimed! “He was standing at the back of the church in a white robe smiling as you walked down the aisle. And that wasn’t all, the Holy Spirit was there too, He was dancing like a mist all around us when we were worshiping and you and Mateo were getting married!” Sometimes children can see what we can’t and it made me want to cry tears of joy because Jesus was the most important wedding guest of all! It was a taste of heaven having so many of the people we love in one place! The joy in that place was overwhelming! We loved every moment and all the little details that everyone contributed! We are humbled by the outpouring of love!

 

The wedding in CA was an amazing experience! Through it we were able to reconnect with so many of the youth that we have gotten to know over the years! We really wanted them to see what marriage is; a union of two people before God for life, a joyous celebration that doesn’t have to end, a love that reflects Christ love for His bride.the church. Many of them told us that they had never been to a wedding before, this was to be their first! It was round two of God showing us his amazing provision! Everyone contributed and we were able to have a bilingual church service, special music, many of the youth and our friends as bridesmaids & groomsmen, a feast, decorations and even a DJ. God doesn’t hold back, He lavishly blesses! We felt that the blending of cultures, languages and backgrounds was a true reflection of the Kingdom of God!

 

Because of the outpouring of generosity we have been able to rent an apartment in Oakland, fully furnish it and open it up for hospitality, pay off Mateo’s car and his student loan and go on a honeymoon to Mexico! GOD IS SO GOOD! He truly answers prayers and knows the desires of our hearts! Our Mexico trip was a blast! As you know Mateo and I both have a ton of energy, we couldn’t stay in one place for more than a day! We spent 10 days bussing all over Mexico! We flew into Cancun and then traveled to Campeche, a beautiful colonial city with a history of pirates! We ate shark and danced to musical fountains in the moonlight. We got to stay in the governors mansion for only $30 a night! Our second stop was the jungle! We went to visit the Mayan Ruins of Palenque. It was incredible, we literally walked back in time and experienced an ancient civilization! Third, was a city called San Cristobal de las Casas located up in the mountains. We toured modern day Mayan villages! We visited waterfalls and got to swim in them and even explore the caves behind them. We went to Bakalar which is on the border of Mexico and Belize. The waters were 7 shades of blue, we were able to kayak and tour cenotes with locals. We went to Tulum and took a tour snorkeling in caves! It was so creepy, there were bats and stalagtites! We stayed in a palm hut and I got stung by a scorpion! We closed out the trip by ferrying out to Cozumel! We rented a moped and toured gorgeous beaches and then snorkeled! I love having a spouse who loves Jesus and adventure! What a gift to work together, play together and pray together! Some of God’s greatest gifts are worth the wait!

 

When we returned from Mexico I got so sick. I have never been down for more than 3 days, but this sickness knocked me out for a month. I went to the emergency room 3 times trying to figure out what was wrong. I was so mad at God, life had been so good and then it just turned. I missed Thanksgiving and I was afraid the sickness might just keep me from Christmas too. I felt like a horrible wife because Mateo had to do everything for me. I was mean and grumpy and my body was in pain. I realized I love to give but have a hard time receiving. There is nothing like sickness to show you your sin and need for a savior! After a couple of weeks of turning away from God, I finally gave in and just threw myself at his feet broken and at my wits end. It was intense physically, spiritually and emotionally. It was at that point that I realized that God does not like sickness either, BUT He can use all things for our GOOD! He began to speak to me again because I had time to listen to him. I remembered once again that my worth is not in doing but in simply being with Him. What he wants more than anything is my worship of Him, He wants relationship with me. He showed me that I can know a deeper part of His heart through suffering. He used the sickness to give me empathy for others who are sick. He showed me what the poor go through at the hospital when they don’t have health insurance. He showed me that comfort is a danger because when everything is going well, we often forget Him. I realized how much I need Jesus! Even the best gifts, friends, family, marrying the love of my life, a mission that I love are nothing compared to HIM! JESUS is ALL! So if you are feeling empty, lonely, depressed and if alcohol, sex, money, relationships and this world has to offer are not enough, turn to Jesus! He is what you are missing! I am cured thanks to a combination of doctors, nurses, antibiotics, a loving husband and the mother load of prayers! Sometimes Jesus uses physical issues to heal our hearts! In this New Year our hearts are overflowing with Jesus! May God richly bless you this year with His love, joy and presence!

Giving My All To God

Devotional Classics

by Richard Foster & James Bryan Smith

 I’ve been contemplating the devotions in this book and I thought it would be interesting to blog about them and share my honest thoughts with the world!

 Devotion 1: Giving My All to God

 Lord the truth is I fear giving it all to you. I can give you the bad; I don’t want that part of me. BUT it’s the things that I consider good, my hopes, dreams and desires that is where I resist. I am selfish, I want life to turn out my way, SELF still wants to remain in tact! I resist death; our world has a fear of dying.  Letting it all die so that I may live for you is a battle. Maybe I am afraid that in giving all I will have regret, maybe I am afraid that the things you give will be revoked and I will have to return them.

 Lord you told me to count the cost. I feel like I left all, my family in MI, the country that I love, my hobbies, my friends, an income, and my possessions. It feels like just when I regain some or all of it, moving to Chicago and reestablishing, then losing all for you and moving to India, then giving up orphans and ministry that I loved to come home and lose it all again in a riding accident. Then to move to Colorado and regain only to give it up again and move to San Francisco to work with gang members. Just when I began to love it all there, community, friends, church, youth, even life in a city and the love of my life. You asked me to follow you again to Oakland to a land of violence, pavement, prostitution, no church to call home and the prospect of losing my soul mate on the mission field.

 Sometimes I can see your plan God; I know that when you move me I rely on you again. Our relationship is sweetest in the midst of struggle, transition and suffering. But Lord it hurts to let go, to say goodbye. It rips my heart out to love. I lose sleep at night dreaming of those I left behind. But it is true, in dying I do live and I find something more than happiness that satisfies deeper. You Jesus are my joy, I can’t hope in anything or anyone else. You are the only constant in my life. You’ve given me more than I ever hoped for, and you’ve taken everything that I held dear. At the end I am left in your arms Jesus, hoping beyond hope that you are true and believing deep down that it is all valle la pena or worth it.

 Jesus its true what C.S. Lewis says, you aren’t so interested in taking my things, you want my heart. That which is hardest to give. The truth is I want to give it to you, but it so quickly becomes idolatrous. It sees something fleeting a person, place or thing or even a memory and clings to it. I need your power Holy Spirit to break my heart free. I want to be free to love you and your world Jesus. Keep me free of anything that comes between us. At the end all I have is my relationship with you Jesus, keep it in tact. Help me to withstand all of the attacks of the evil one, make me aware of his schemes, deliver me from his lies and fill me with your love and truth Jesus.

 At the end of this devotion I cried and cried tears of surrender. I give up Jesus, it is too hard to hold on to life and you at that same time. My heart longs for you, help me to follow you joyfully, no matter what may come help me to deny myself and embrace you. True joy is you JESUS! Surrender is peace, the war subsides and I lie in your will whole and fully alive for the first time in ages. Sweet surrender!

 Jesus I don’t want the added burden of controlling my own life. I want you to pilot me, to navigate and to be my leader. You always have surprises for me, better than I ever dreamed. I love the people that you bring from every tribe, tongue and nation. When I let go, I gain all. You always keep your promises Jesus. When I left all you promised homes to stay in, new mothers, brothers and sisters and your Father as my Father. You are true Jesus there is no lie in you. Even in Oakland I see your words coming true. You are growing me and showing me what love is. You are helping me make lasting friendships, you are leading me into a new ministry that is more than I had hoped for, you’ve given me a partner and team and a growing network of passionate people who love you. You’ve surrounded me with fellow dreamers who are as stubborn as I am, who refuse to believe that this is all that there is for Oakland and the world. You give me hope and you fuel me to keep on running toward you, not alone but with a great cloud of witnesses!

Dreams

When I was a missionary in India, I discovered that spiritual warfare was very real! The last thing that Satan wants is for us to share the hope that we have in Jesus and the truth with the world at large. What he hates most is when we pray for others! He retaliates with attacks, at first they may be subtle, he tries to ruin our relationships with others, he tries to plant lies in our mind about ourselves, others or God. He tries to make us lethargic and lazy in our spiritual walk. He tries to lull us to sleep with comfort or he diverts our attention from Christ to self. He loves using hooks like sex, lust, adultery, pride and religiousity. He divides believers from one another and also divides families through divorce. His ultimate goal is to destroy us and keep us separated from God forever. I used to cower in fear when I thought of Satan and demons, I gave him far more attention than he deserved. But then I realized in the midst of attacks that one word can fell him! JESUS! He flees at the name of Jesus, if I really want to keep him at a distance then I start singing about the blood of Jesus that saves me from sin, death and hell! I believe that in the west Satan wants to remain hidden, he doesn't obviously present himself. If he can keep us from believing that there is a heaven & hell and eternity, that all paths lead to God, that being good is enough than he has won our souls.  In third world countries, they know that evil exists! There is an all out war that you can see at times and feel. There is demon possession and deliverance from evil spirits.

In Oakland, San Francisco and among the poor in inner cities, I have noticed that Satan is very present. The majority of youth in juvenile hall can relate to demons and spiritual attack and temptation. I find it funy that the people that I talk to in most churches are the skeptics! There is a very real battle and whether we choose to acknowledge it or not we are in the midst of it. If we are not actively pursuing Jesus than we are ultimately siding with Satan.

Last night I had a dream it was very interesting. I was told in India that dreams are a call to prayer, this one was no exception. My fellow missionaries and I were sitting around a beautiful bonfire with some of youth that we work with. The fire represented God, community, fellowship and joy. We were laughing and rejoicing full of life and passion. Mateo caught my eye and brought my attention to what was encrouching upon us. There were wolves surrounding us, creeping, lurking, poised for attack. They zoned in on one of our youth and began to attack. I started praying and the others did too, it was our only defense against the darkness. A wolf came and whispered seductively in my ear, you can't pray, you're getting sleepy, very sleepy. I was fighting to pray but my eyelids were so heavy, the fire was so warm all I wanted was sleep. I knew I had to pray, I started praying and fighting and singing songs about the blood of Jesus. Then I woke up from the dream. Satan made his tactic obvious, he wants to lull believers into a deep sleep. He wants to keep us powerless and ineffective in the presence of darkness. If you are reading this I beg you, wake up! Pray! Do not become the sleeping church in Revelation! Ask the Lord to strengthen all believers, ask for intercessors, pray for those who are wrapped in darkness! God acts on our behalf when we pray!

I know that the LIGHT always overcomes! I know that LIFE is stronger than death! I know that JESUS defeated satan on the cross and that the victory is WON! BUT we are still in a battle for souls, please pray! I long to see captives set free, the oppressed delivered and the lost found! Please pray for me and my fellow missionarys, that God keeps us awake, alert and praying without ceasing!

Oakland

I've had writers block, I want to write all of the time but I've been afraid. It's been hard to be bold, hard to tell it like it is, because the truth is ugly and politically incorrect. The truth simply offends and thats not my nature to offend. The truth pierces and cuts and severs lies. You are despised and rejected, persecuted and alone if you really preach it. But there is something inside of me that says tell them anyway. Jesus tells me, Who cares what the world thinks, you only have to please and worship me! Live like a crazy obsessed radical. Turn tables by loving the pimp and crack dealer. Embrace the gangmember and sit with the addict on the corner. Feed the man who lives in a van on your street and while you are at it stop and chat with a prostitute as she stands on the corner waiting for her next customer. Its hard to love because fear gets in the way, I'm afraid of getting raped, or shot, or abused, I am afraid to walk home after dark. I'm afraid of the  gunshots I hear in my neighborhood at night. But then this crazy peace sweeps over me and He tells me don't fear, my love casts out fear! Don't fear them, they may destroy your body, take your life, crucify you, but they cannot have your soul. I purchased you and won you. We already have the victory! Its been paid in blood! He tells me, I want to take you on the wildest adventure of your life. I want you to follow with blind faith, you won't be able to explain or justify the way you use your time, this won't look like a normal nine to five. I want to take you deeper into my heart. To go deeper it means plunging into the middle of darkness so that I can prove to you that my light always vanquishes the darkness! I want to plan everyday, to let my agenda reign, but he is telling me to lay it all down, to surrender my plans, my programs, my ideas, because mine simply are not big enough. He keeps challenging me, he is helping me unlearn everything from the past so that I can be simple, humble, broken and dependent on Him for everything. He has been giving me crazy desires to pray throughout the day, to go to learn from charismatic catholics, to submerge myself in Spanish, to try to recruit a prayer team of 700 people, to read testimonys of the saints, to be vulnerable, to simply be in his presence without doing anything. I don't know what he is up to but it feels big. He is introducing us to refugess from Africa, black authors from the hood, drugdealers from Honduras, a single black father, asian lawyers, tongan churches, fransican priests, episcopal latinos, rich people from the hills, and latino gangmembers. How it all comes together? Only he knows! I am asking for passion, for his love and mercy and for His vision as I seek to serve him and carry out His will.

God is bigger than my doubt!

No matter how grim things look, no matter how much pain I feel, no matter how confused or tired I may be, trust! He will take my naked faith, no matter how small and create a miracle bigger than I have dreamed or imagined!

Naked faith demands that we somehow learn to marry the mind with the Spirit. That we put away our pride, doubt and fear and stand before God with nothing but a raw unquenchable trust. That we close our eyes and ears to the voices that tell us what God can and cannot do, what God does and doesn't believe, how God does and doesn't work and allow God to show us for himself!    -Nicky Cruz

According to Nicky, the most powerful and effective prayer we can pray is...

Jesus I release my life to the working of your Holy Spirit. I have no plans of my own, no agenda, no goals of my own choosing, no desire that isn't placed in my spirit by yours. I turn loose from my life and schedule. I renounce Satans hold on my life and the sins that enslave me. Take me Lord! Show me where you want me to go, what you want me to do, who you want me to see and what you want me to say! I am no longer going to limit your work in my life. Take me, mold me, lead me, make me into a vessel of your spirit. God use me to bless others, use me to help others find comfort, healing, deliverance, home, community & intimacy with you. Turn my life into a living breathing miracle of your will!

Good Friday

I attended a funeral of someone so beloved, so dear. My Lord, My Savior, crucified to free me! I am humbled and blown away by His Sacrifice. I attended a drama put on by Latino Catholics, it was so powerful seeing the scene reanacted. To hear the soldiers yelling, camina! To hear the theif beside him yelling bajate de la cruz! To see the women wiping the blood off Jesus face. To see the agony that Jesus suffered for me. There was a reverence, a holy hush in the midst of that huge cathedral. Catholics really contemplate the suffering of the Messiah, it is in that suffering that they find comfort for their own trials and pain. Jesus, on the cross is one with the marginalized, demonized and the poor in spirit.

Later in the day, I attended an African American church in Oakland. Everyone wore black out of respect. The passion that was put into the preaching, the worship and the dance showed me the depth of love the people had for Jesus. I was face to face with the one who paid the penalty. They sang, you didn't have to do it, but you did! The soulful music was haunting. I was reminded by the preaching that I put Jesus on that cross and when I deny him I crucify him all over again. When Jesus took up that cross, he didn't give just half of his life or will, he gave everything. I was so convicted, rarely do I give him my all. I was overcome with the desire to give up all, to recommit to following him, to carrying my cross no matter what the price. I owe him everything. If Jesus hadn't died the world would be covered with crosses and then we would still all be in hell. But because he died one cross was sufficient! Jesus made family at the cross, no longer calling Mary mother, he said woman here is your son! He changed from son in her eyes to Savior! Jesus shifts our perspective. He gave John sonship, when he said, Son your mother! Through the cross we are all sons and daughters of the King, identity is restored! Praise the Lord! Oh the blood of JESUS! It washes us and frees us! I am anticipating ressurection more than ever before! Oh my lovely Lord, the price you paid to restore my soul!

Duprice
Jess
Anna_and_angie
These are the girls that I love! They are teen moms who are working, going to college and giving up gang life & affiliation so that their babies can have a different reality!

Mission Miracle

Glory be to God! I am so excited to tell you that your prayers are being answered. God is listening and the Holy Spirit is moving in powerful ways! I wanted to give you all an update on M, the boy who was shot.

    Last Sunday A(M’s sister-in-law), called me and asked me to pick her up for church. On the way home A opened up and shared that T& M had a huge fight. She told me that they cursed God, each other & damned each others’ babies. She told me that M had been irrationally angry and she was furious with him for bringing her and her daughter into it. She also told me that M was blaming my teamates and I for the shooting - he claimed that if he had not gone to the group that night that he would still be walking. His twin reminded him that something worse could have happened, it was just a matter of time. I asked A if we could pray for him and she was adamantly in favor! She told me, “M needs God. He is full of evil.”

      I asked A if we could visit him and she was skeptical of whether or not he would even see us. One of our local leaders Jose  volunteered to go with me for the afternoon to visit. When I walked in the door, M yelled out from his room, “I don’t believe in God!” I yelled back, “We still love you!” I popped my head in the door and he welcomed us in, hungry for a visit. He told us about the fight he had with his twin and how torn up he was about it. He laid out the story, pointing out everyone’s blame. He shocked me and said, “My little bro told me that I needed God. So T and I, we got on our knees and asked  God for forgiveness and we took back all the bad s*** that we said to each other, especially about our babies. Did I tell you my girl is pregnant? If I’m going to be a dad, I need to change. I asked God, but then I got all scared and shaky. I think he is going to punish me for the past.”

       Jose, led by the Spirit, suggested we read the story of the prodigal son. I read the story and then we asked M who he was in the story. We asked him how the Father treated his wayward son and M said, “He threw him a party!” We explained that that’s what God does for us when we return to him! He loves us and rejoices over our return. M said, “Read me another one!” So then I told him about Adam and Eve, how sin entered the world and how God had a plan to save us! God sent Jesus to pay the price for our sin. It is a free gift: if we believe that Jesus is God’s son and that he took our sin on the cross, we are saved! God has already chosen us, we are his children. Mwas so convinced before that he could never be saved. He was sure that Satan had a place reserved for him in hell, and he couldn’t forgive himself for all of the things he had done. He kept telling me, “You’re going straight to heaven Martita, you are good.” I told him the reality, “I am a dirty rotten sinner as well and its only by the grace and gift of Jesus’ blood that I will enter heaven.” M responded, “I want that but how? I asked for a change but nothing happened.” We told him that it was simple: all he needed do was respond to Jesus.

     Jose explained that either Satan or Jesus lives in our hearts and that when we give our heart to Jesus, he actually moves in and lives within us! M said, “Maybe I will do that someday.” We asked what was holding him back and he said, “I already sold my soul. I gave it to the devil long ago.” We assured him that at the cross, that deal was canceled by the blood of Jesus. We began to pray and we commanded any demons not to interfere or manifest. We asked that God send angels to fill the room. And then it happened: M asked us to help him invite Jesus!  None of us wanted to stop there. He repented of his bargain with the devil and made the claim that he was now a son of God! I said, “M, what do you want God to do for you? Will you tell him? He really likes specific prayers!” His prayer made me cry. It went something like this:

     “Jesus, I haven’t talked to you in a really long time, sorry about that. I really want to change and be a good dad for my baby. Help me. I ask you for my legs so I can walk again. Oh and Jesus help me to forgive my enemies so that you can forgive me.”

I have never heard a gangmember pray for help forgiving his enemies! It was a miracle! The kingdom of darkness lost a soul on Sunday! I bet the angels were partying!

     Then M asked us to pray for his legs. I’ll be honest - I’ve been praying for physical healings for people for years and I’ve seen some headaches leave, and I’ve seen myself heal but rarely have I prayed for the physical and had something tangible happen. M told me, “Remember how you prayed for motion in my foot Martita, you laid hands on one and I can move it now! Will you pray for the other one?” Faith welled up in me - God still heals, not just emotionally and spiritually but also physically! Praise God! Jose asked the Holy Spirit to come and as he did, brilliant sunlight hit the bedroom windows. We felt peace come and the love of God changed M’s countenance. We laid hands on his foot and prayed that the Spirit would fill and heal him from the top of his head to the soles of his feet. M said, “I feel all warm and tingly!” That’s the Holy Spirit working! I asked M if I could open the curtains and let the light in. He told me, “The demons told me not to, they said to stay in the dark and to stay away from others. But yes, you can let the light in. I am not going to listen to them anymore!” Pretty soon T came in the room, then A, then the kids. We all started laughing about life and Tony said, “Ms different, he’s not talking crazy anymore!”

     I felt so much joy when I left that little room. Jesus was there and now I have a new brother! Jose and I were out of our minds, skipping down the street praising God! The best part is that the story is just beginning. It is going to take many volunteers who want to love and disciple M and invite him into the family of God. It is also going to take a lot of intercession for M to be free from old mindsets and habits, and it is going to take an act of God to keep him from going back to the street when he is healed. But that’s our God isn’t it, a God of the impossible!

Songs That Jesus Inspired

Cure for a Broken Heart

 

I see you crying

There all alone

I see you breaking

Your hearts been torn

And your wounded, lonely & scared

And you’re wondring

If somebody cares

 

He is waiting for you

You can trust him

He is truth

Pour out your heart

Unleash your tears

He is here to listen to dashed dreams & fears

 

He can hold you

Share your desires

He’s your lover

As you pass through the fire

And he’ll always be near

So you don’t have to fear

 

I see him dying

There on the cross

Dying to restore the love that was lost

Oh he loves you,

It’s more that a refrain

He knows your heart

Surrender your pain

 

Oh theres joy and it comes with the dawn

There is hope rising up with the son

Oh come, experience him

Ressurection, new life begins

 

Something More

 

Oh theres something that drawing me in

Something beneath your skin

Is it the look in your eyes

That makes me realize,

Oh theres something more

Theres more than just me & you

More that is infinite

More that is true

 

Theres a melody drawing me in

More than just lyrics, the song from within

Is is the tone of your voice

That makes me rejoice, oh theres something more

Theres a heaven with singers surrounding the throne

And the song that you’re singing reminds me of home

 

Your lips are drawing me in

Speaking of freedom and bondage from sin

Hope rises up in my soul

You’re telling me I can be whole, oh theres something more

And you draw me to him and new life begins

 

Yes there is someone more, He is more than I could have hoped for…